In today’s episode, I announced I will NOT be editing my videos anymore. This new format is going to be very informal, helpful, and most importantly, consistent. I want to show up for you in a bigger and better way. And for me, that means LESS concern about the production value and MORE concern with consistently giving what’s in my heart to give.
We also covered the all important topic of overcoming fear, and basically, how to stop being owned by fear. Fear is nothing more than sensations happening in the body. And when we see those sensations as a cue to take action, our lives change. How? Through the simple art of taking action.
Fear is one of the greatest blocks to peace and truth. It is also one of the most clever illusions of the ego. But you don’t have to be impacted by the illusion of fear. You can be free from it, and you can do it in an instant.
Now, I’ll start by telling you the truth. You will never be completely without fear because you will never be completely without your ego. The ego is a part of the experience of life, and as such, so is the energy of fear. But I can tell you from personal experience, you can reframe fear in such a way that it doesn’t run your life.
Before we go any further, let’s define fear. Fear is a state of being created by the thoughts and filters of your ego. This state of being comes with:
What Fear Creates
- various physical sensations, such as a tight chest or a twisting in the diaphragm
- Restriction (never trying anything new, for instance)
- Hypervigilance and narrow vision
- Small minded thinking (you’re not creative when you’re tyring to not be eaten by a lion)
- Negativity
- Various illnesses
- Chronic patterns of tension in the body (tight shoulders for example)
- Recurring patterns and emotions (fear maintains holding patterns)
- Rigidness in life rather than readiness
I’m not referring to “Instinctual Fear” which is the healthy fear that alerts you when you a lion is going to eat you or when your smoke alarm goes off. That’s just plain ol’ healthy human instincts, and a great mechanism of our beautiful nervous systems.
Fear Defined
Now look. Your ego has one chief aim. To make you miserable and keep you separated from your divinity. And its primary tool for this is fear. This energy that was originally intended to keep you safe from predators was hijacked by the “scared little me”, and is used as a tool to keep you stuck and suffering.
So to sum up my definition of fear it’s this: Fear is a natural survival tool that is was stolen by the ego, and subsequently used in unnatural ways. It uses fear to keep its small, miserable little stories alive. It uses fear to avoid growth (which is death to the ego). It uses fear to maintain its rule over you, and keep you in the dark, dank little corners of your past stories. It uses fear to relive the past over and over again. It uses fear to turn the future into horror show of “what-ifs”. The ego’s use of fear is unnatural, toxic, and insane.
If there’s not a tiger or a burglar involved, there’s really no place for fear.
The Bad News (Kinda)
Let me be honest with you. It’s unlikely that you’ll never experience fear again. There’s not a magic button I can have you press that will offer complete freedom from the ego-fear that comes with being a human being in a Western civilization.
Unless you have the great fortune of being cracked away from your ego like Eckhart Tolle or Jesus Christ, you’re probably going to experience bouts of egoic fear.
Various life challenges and situations are bound to create fear for you, no matter how far along you are on your path. A partner leaves you, your money is gone, your body gets ill, etc etc. There is no shortage of excuses the ego has to serve up the All You Can Eat Fear Buffet.
The Ego’s is Always Selling Something
Your ego is an excellent salesperson. It is a 24/7, in your head telemarketer. An excellent one. If it had an office, there would be a wall full of “#1 salesperson” plaques on the walls.
Listen. Every single fear you have in life is a sale the ego is trying to get you to buy. It tells you a long line of bullshit, it weaves convincing stories, it uses catchy sales copy, and then it says “well, whadya think? Do you want in on this limited time offer or what?”
It sells you little fear trinkets, big fear bundles, lifetime packages, and so on.
“Have you considered worrying about what people think of you? Let’s sit right here and not make a move for five years to make sure nobody notices you. Wanna buy this offer?”
“What if you lose everything you’ve worked so hard for? Would you like to spend one hour in the middle of every night for the next ten years worrying about this? This offer is expiring never”
“Your hair looks frizzy today. Would you like to purchase a subscription to making this mean you’re completely unlovable and nobody wants to look at you? Act now! Stock is limited”
The Good News
The good news is that your relationship to the ego’s fear-offerings is truly up to you.
How we become free of fear is by noticing it, and declining the offer.
If you notice the offers of the ego, you have the ability to decline them. And that means you truly ARE free from fear.
You have this incredible, permanent asset called free will. Free will is your superpower against fear. Free will is your one and only weapon, but it is the ultimate weapon to end all other weapons.
If you use your will to decline the ego’s offers, you are free.
You have free will, and you have the choice to use it at any moment to decline the shitty offers of the ego.
Energetic Surpluses Vs. Fear
If you consider yourself an “anxious” person, it means you have a surplus of energy. This can be due to a dysregulated nervous system (aka your body is trained to be in fight or flight). Or it could just be that you naturally have a high level of energy. Either way, it’s important to use your energetic surpluses, and not give those over to fear.
Many people experiences sensations of energetic surplus and don’t use that energy. What happens from there is the ego now has a fresh supply of energy. It uses this energy to manufacture chaos, fear-thoughts, self-sabatoge, and chronic worry. The ego with a surplus of energy will gladly use it to suck the joy out of your life.
What can we do instead? We can use these surpluses to do our Deep Work in this world, and to do physical things that spend the energy in a productive way. We also use this energy to let go of what no longer serves us. Letting go actually requires energy!
How to Use Your Energetic Surpluses
If you don’t do things that challenge you and scare the shit out of you, you are not using the energetic surpluses.
The saying “idle hands are the devil’s tool” is apt. But many people think that just doing random things all day and being “busy” is an adequate way to spend energy. The truth is, being “busy” does not put a dent in your energetic surpluses.
Your energetic surpluses were given to you by the Divine Beloved to use for challenging, and generative things. This means physical, intellectual, and creative endeavors that stretch your limits.
To spend your energetic surpluses means to do something that stretches your comfort zone on a regular basis. It means to sweat on a daily basis, or get a brisk walk in, or whatever. It means to sit down at a table and make your brain sweat a little with a book or audio training that teaches you new things.
If you start ACTUALLY spending your energetic surpluses, you will find the energy of fear has transmuted into the energy of creativity, joy, and harmony. When you see people accomplishing great work in this world, it’s because they are USING that energetic surplus…they are channeling the raw energetic material of fear into something great.
How to Use Energetic Surpluses
- Physical exercise, brisk walks, fun physical adventures like hikes, paddle boarding etc.
- New projects that excite you
- Learning new things that make your brain sweat
- Doing things that stretch your comfort zone
- Doing things that scare the shit out of you on a regular basis
No Need to Judge the Fear
We do not need to see fear as “bad” or “good”. From the context of true and deep healing, it simply IS.
So if fear arises, notice the physical sensations, allow them to be there, and fully accept them. Simply relax into them, and let them pass through.
Don’t get caught up in the thoughts. Simply notice those and let them pass through too.
Where Fear Has No Place
It’s crucial to draw clear boundaries with fear. Decide on how you are going to interact with fear, and also what you’re NOT going to tolerate from it. Take agency in your life and remove fear from the driver’s seat.
For example, notice what choices you’re currently making that are driven by fear. Then stop making those choices.
Also notice what choices you AREN’T making because you’re afraid, and start making those choices.
A great lesson from A Course in Miracles is “I am not a victim of the world I see.” In other words, if you’re being run by fear, and the results that fear brings, you CAN take charge of that situation. You CAN decide you’re not going to let fear run the show.
Fear especially has no business being in your life decisions. Not unless you want restriction and narrow thinking to be part of those decisions.
In response to the typical arguments people make for fear as a good tool for motivation, the beautiful Dr. David Hawkins said “Too bad. Too bad you let fear drive your life instead of love. Too bad you didn’t let love make your choices.” And to the ego mind, this sounds like an impossibility. “Fear is good!” the ego says. “It’s a great driver”…ok, sure. If you want to live your life like in a box two sizes too small for you, go ahead and let fear keep running the show.
But what if you could be pulled pushed by inspiration and love instead? What if, instead of giving the “scared little me” the steering wheel, you put the Deep Self in charge?
What would your life look like if you only did what inspired you? What would your life look like if your choices were based 100% on what you’re pulled towards, instead of the little piss-ant pain points the ego wants you to avoid at all costs.
Instead of “what will strangers think?” you step into “What would help people?”
Instead of “what will get me out of debt?” you step into “What would I be inspired to do with my life?”
Instead of “the world is going to hell in a handbasket” you step into “What is the beautiful mark I want to leave on this world?”
Do you see the stark contrast? When we lay it all out plainly like this, it’s easy to see that not only is it possible to live from love…it’s the only sane choice. It’s the choice you must make if you want to be effective in your life. It’s the choice you must make if you want peace, prosperity and freedom.
Most of all, it’s the choice you must make if you want to live AS WHO AND WHAT YOU TRULY ARE.
To live from love is to live from Truth. It really is that simple. It really is that beautiful.
❤️,
Brenda
